Truth is, when you’re in love with a narcissist it’s easy to focus on the things you’re doing wrong and blame yourself for it ending.
You can’t step back and realise the effect it had on you so you continue to remain in said relationship because for some twisted reason your comfortable and can’t walk away – it sucks..
..like majorly sucks.
It drains you emotionally, physically and mentally leaving you questioning was it even worth it in the end? For some of us, me included, its excruciatingly painful to let go and break away but its vital if you want true happiness.
Since I did, I had to retrain myself to know my self-worth and really focus in on what a healthy relationship looked like. I’m a true believer that people pick up on the vibes you put out and because I was unhappy it reflected in my relationship choices.
I read a post that spoke to me in the truest of words and it got me thinking, what happens after? So, I decided to think of the lessons I’ve learnt from being in love with a narcissist:
one // don’t cling to a relationship for fear of being alone. I’m guilty of this on more than one occasion. Loneliness will alter reality and trick us into staying in relationships with toxic people just so we aren’t by ourselves. It’s better to be happy alone than unhappy in the company of others.
two // only you should hold the power over your own happiness. Sounds silly but it’s easy to let each others feelings reflect on the other. When we allow others to have that power we let ourselves sit in a toxic environment willingly and continuously go round in circles allowing that person to make us unhappy.
three // trust your intuition because it’s normally right. I’ve stayed in relationships even though I knew something wasn’t quite right or my heart wasn’t in it anymore. In toxic relationships we tend to ignore the glaring red flags smacking you in the face and try to rationalise why we have ignored them. Having said that, once you’re out it’s a lot easier to listen to that inner voice telling you to run.
four // what it means to be in a healthy relationship. This one took me the longest to figure out, probably about 7 years.. when you find a healthy relationship it only highlights more so what shit you put up with in the first place and how good you have it now.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that whilst it’s easy to reflect on the person you used to be and how the lasting effect of an ex will always impact the relationships you have, it will eventually make you stronger.
When you meet a somebody who shows you the true meaning of love and what it is to be in a balanced healthy relationship you question why you ever let yourself put up with anything you did before.
So hang in there, because it takes a strong person to love a narcissist but an even stronger one to walk away.